In simple terms, if you are in a relationship that you don’t want or it’s having a negative effect on your psychological health can be termed as a toxic relationship. In today’s world, it is one of the most popular issues in dating and Relationships.
In this post, you will see the top reasons, why you keep falling in a toxic relationship and how you can go ahead and break the cycle for the same…
Toxic relationships make you feel proud and satisfied.
Narcissistic people are pretty good at making things perfect for you. They have special powers to influence, manipulate and ultimately control you. The other person will lure with all kinds of surprises, commitments and lifetime promises, which is logically impossible for anyone to commit. If you are slightly looking for an emotional commitment, you tend to fall for it. The most important warning at this sign will be a very quick commitment.
It is really challenging to move on from a toxic relationship.
As stated in my previous post, how hard the grip of a Narcissistic person, it is very hard to come out of the trap. Moreover, if you are already isolated from your friends and families, most of the options are already closed, and thinking about the short term, it is very hard to start everything afresh from the start. In this stage, the victim is already addicted to the Narcissist.
Sometimes it’s OK to adjust.
We think that it is okay to adjust a few things here and there for living together, and that’s completely fine for every couple. I understand that but trust me, that’s the thing where it all starts. We keep on adjusting each and everything, and it just becomes the normal thing. If you are the one who is expected to adjust to every position, it’s not all a sign of a healthy relationship.
Toxic relationships are damn addictive.
People start loving the boundaries created by their partners. It all starts with small jealousy about one friend. As the days pass, the walls get stronger and higher. The victim thinks that the partner is being protective. I have personally seen many people leaving best friends, just to be with a person who is “protective”. People really seem to love that protective of their partner.
You feel like s/he is the BEST for you.
There is a false feeling created by the toxic partner, in which they are the hero of the story. The victim believes that if they move on with someone else, they won’t be happy as much they are in this relationship. Logically, we know that the person will be very happy, but they are under quite a spell now, in which the logical explanations take a back seat.
You have a fear of the unexplored.
We all have the fear of the unknown, Imagine someone who has differences with friends and families for the same relationship, they are literally scared. A victim is usually alone for a long time, and now they don’t know what is on the other side of the door. It becomes very hard for them to walk out of something they know than the unknown and unexplored.
You get a good amount of intimacy and physical satisfaction from the partner.
While there could be many issues in the relationship, but you will enjoy the complete attention of the partners, which is one of the strong points to keep the victim in the relationship. We all want attention, the more, the better. The toxic partner will use this point to his complete advantages, more than you can even imagine. Be it physical or emotional attention, the victim gets the complete part of it.
This could be the only time, someone is paying attention to you.
We, humans, are social beings and we all love attention. There could be issues with the past relationship, where you were not the center of the attraction. In this relationship, the victim enjoys a good amount of reaction. Don’t trade your independence and happiness for a little amount of attention.
You love challenges in your relationships.
You really love challenges in your life, and you want to change the asshole to a saint, while we all appreciate the challenging attitude for the greater good. However please be careful, that your little step in the wrong direction doesn’t turn in to a nightmare.
You’ve Faced Abuse In your previous Relationships
Being abusive can be very harmful in a relationship and it should not be tolerated at any cost. Be it physical or verbal. Please seek help as soon as possible. If you are out of it and if you are falling for the same kind of relationship, you need to remind yourself of the hell you’ve been through.
Now that you have read about the signs about the addiction of getting into a toxic relationship, let’s get into steps to avoid it and how to break the cycle for the same. The most important point here is admitting that there’s a problem.
These are the steps to avoid the toxic relationship:
Take your own time to know the person better and hold your horses.
When we are attracted to someone, we try to get closer to the person as soon as possible, even for physical intimacy. Humans are known to get closer when physical intimacy is involved. Take your own time to know the person better, be it getting physically involved, or taking the relationship to the next step.
Never ignore your gut feelings/red flags/warnings.
Whenever you see something wrong, make sure you do a bit of research, before concluding, that it’s nothing. Gut feelings tell us, which our eyes tend to miss. In the very beginning, there are obvious signs that the person is a narcissist or controlling. Watch out for those signs.
Keep your dignity and self-respect important.
Self-respect is very important, in every kind of relationship. Forget relationships, as a human being, you should have self-respect and it should be a top priority. Adjusting for your loved one is a very good thing, which we appreciate but adjusting whether your self-respect comes to question is not a very good sign of a relationship, walk or move out. It will be good for both partners.
Try to get hold of the early signs of a bad relationship.
There are some obvious signs of a bad relationship. For example any kind of abuse: be it physical or verbal, controlling behavior, getting too clingy or something which the other person is not comfortable about. Act as soon as possible for a quick escape. You can’t change the other person, so I don’t think there’s any point in trying too hard to change the other person as per your requirements.
To conclude the post,
You are the best judge of your own life, Remember, whatever decision you take in the relationship, it will have a direct effect on your mental and psychological health directly or indirectly. So take some time and decide very carefully to avoid any complications.
I will take a leave now, take care, everyone!