What it feels like to love a cold person?

How on earth do I tell my partner that I still love him and have loved him ever since we have met each other?

I am an emotionally cold person and hard to convince. It’s extremely difficult for me to convey what I feel or want to say or do.

If I am in a relationship with someone, time and again that person may feel neglected and not cared enough. That is why I have never been in a successful relationship before this, currently, I am happily married (nonetheless, the happiness is short-lived).

Everybody has got marriage problems and relationship sustainability doubts, but what about a person who is cold in nature, and sometimes become unresponsive to vulnerable situations. Nobody considers that a good thing. Everybody might think that either the person is selfish or less bothered with what’s going on around him. However, that is not the case with me.

I am bothered with whatever is happening around me, I take time to respond but till the time I respond, it’s too late for the other person to understand why I took the time or that I even care.

Situations can be tough and for cold people, we might hear some unpleasant things in our daily lives, but we are human too just lacking empathy. Does that make us difficult to live with? I don’t think so. Whatever happens, if your partner understands you they will stick around; but how long?

I know someone who has been in a relationship with a girl for five years, and she couldn’t handle his extreme mood swings and absence in the middle of the night. She used to endure him like bitter medicine for a disease which had no cure, his mood and his lack of empathy.

She cried and begged him to stay after an argument where he is at fault; she apologized and even cut herself. Who is listening to her? The person who is supposed to listen, he is in another world busy with his guitar and smoking weeds.

Five years is a long time to judge a person and understand what they are going to be like when you are to spend an entire lifetime with them, where they won’t even acknowledge your presence. By the time the guy realized what he had lost, the girl had become emotionally distant and unresponsive. She was with him physically and yet so far emotionally.

He could literally feel the coldness from her presence and the way she used to talk to him, it lacks the warmth of her love and affection which she had earlier when he was just like her, cold and distant.

I am slowly going on that verge of coldness, no one to blame here for that. That is who I am and this is what I feel. My partner is a very warm and jolly person, he has been enduring me for long nine years and yet he refused to leave long back when I had told him my intentions and tendency of going cold over time.

I can see and listen everything he does for my attention yet I cannot acknowledge his actions because I do not know the art of expressing my feelings, I do sometimes but rarely he is there to watch it.

He takes care of me when I am cold and gives me time to revive and return to my natural self on my own pace. He doesn’t rush, but deep down I know there is a limit to everything, to human emotions as well.

Very few people can revive a damaged soul, I have found mine. Have you?

Let me know in the comments section.

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Nivriti B

Trying to make a mark with my simply complicated thoughts….

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