Just by having a glance at the title, I guess all of you can understand what I am going to talk about!
Once I started writing my new blog one of my friends asked me what’s my write-up is about? Is it based on imagination or horror? “That topic, which we never want to discuss with our family and always feel shy whenever it comes out.” I giggled.
She again asked a question, “Are you talking about doing sex?” I replied, ” yeah, kind of!” We were sitting on the chair and having our coffee and snacks. She was blushing and suddenly, she wants to know something. “Listen nah! There are so many topics to write then why have you chosen it of all?” “Hmm, but most of the people don’t want to write on it. “I replied.
While having coffee, suddenly what happened to her, she starts questioning very ridiculous and illogical, completely meaningless. She started with “Having sex with own ‘boyfriend’-is it okay?” To be very frank, hearing this I flinched for a while and I looked at her continuously and I stroked her, asking, “Are you out of your mind? Or has anyone said something to you? And one more thing, are you talking about premarital sex?”
“Hey, wait… wait… don’t tell me that you are thinking to go in a live-in relationship!”
“No, no actually, feeling hesitated before saying…I am absolutely okay but the thing is that I want to discuss something with you” and she started her story saying “My boyfriend wants to get intimate with me, he keeps on telling me that he really loves me, he can’t live without me, he does not flirt with any other girl, he only keeps his eye on me.”
“Ohh! So, are these reasons enough to get physically involved with him??
“Let me, tell you something. You are enough mature to understand and handle these things. Why are you behaving like a dumb? Tell me has he ever told you, whenever you feel alone just call me, I’ll be there for you. Has he told you that, I really care for you, I have a fear of losing you? And had he made you feel safe and secure? Never Ever! Am I right?”
“Yeah! But he says ‘I love you’ off and on, keeps telling me that his friends make fun of him as I have not given permission to take our relationship to the next level and sometimes, I saw him getting angry on this matter.”
“So what? Don’t you know we girls are emotional fools? ‘I love you’ this is the cheapest word, why can’t you understand? And it does not have any value at all, anyone can say it. You both have been in this relationship for 1 year, then why so hurry? Take your time to make such kind of decision. Stop talking bullshit. Don’t trust his words, I repeat… DON’T!” I answered her angrily.
“But most of my friends got intimate and when others ask me that are you still virgin? Are you not in a live-in relationship? and I become a laughingstock in front of everyone, feel like I am goofy.We are about to 1 year of relationship and according to him we can have expectations from each other like others, and he wants to come in a live-in relationship with me, but I stopped myself and backtrack him repeatedly, even I don’t want, I don’t know why?”
“I am scared after getting over it if he dumps me, but he never told me how much he is committed to me. But seriously whenever I tell him, ‘Let’s meet your parents. and they should know that we are in a relationship, and immediately he converts the conversation into something else. I feel like he is ignoring me, even he does not want to introduce me as his girlfriend to his friends, sometimes his behavior speaks a lot more than his action. Heart says, ‘let’s go with the flow.’ But the mind says, ‘No’.”
“This is the thing I am telling you constantly, see, emotional and physical attachments are not a big issue in these days and not difficult to find, but searching for a good soul it is hard to find, trust me”, I replied. “I know everyone has emotional as well as physical needs at a certain period of time but it is not acceptable that as some of your friends have done this, so you will also have to do it just because you want to be like them or you don’t want to be embarrassed in future, that clearly shows you listen to others, you are being influenced by the outsiders, what they think, what they speak, that matters you a lot. And on the other hand, do not follow your heart just because he is your boyfriend. All relationships go sour without commitment.”
“Sometimes listening to your heart can hurt you the most. Physically intimate with someone is not a matter of joke, a big thing of your life. Before getting into this make sure that he is a trustworthy person, make sure he will never put you in trouble, make sure he will never leave you in your worst situation. No matter how beautiful and pretty you are now, but he will never feel different when you become ugly, if he stands by your side, then keep him, don’t let him go. If he loves you unconditionally and wholeheartedly, then he will not be pressurizing you for it. Life is unpredictable, you never know what is waiting for you.”
“Going into a live-in relationship is becoming quite trendy for the new generation and they are taking it casually with ‘what is the big deal’ kind of attitude. They just think of that moment, all they want is only physical satisfaction, that pleasure, nothing else, but they never think of what is going to be happen after 45? No family, no relatives, no one would be there for them, at that time they become all alone, they won’t get family at the end of life, and loneliness leads them to the suffering, depression. Look! Let me be very clear to you that you are heading off disaster if you jump into this.”
“Then why is he always demanding of it? Why?” My friend asked!
“The reason is very simple. There is no future in this kind of relationship, uncommitted relationships are shallow and hollow” I answered!