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To all the men I have loved before

Very rare, we come across few people in our life that leaves a lasting impression in our heart and mind that stays for long….very long. They continue to remain in our conversations, even after they become a bygone chapter of our life. A cup of coffee in a dull and boring day, or visit to a place you two have been before, two small lines of the book that you are reading or maybe that same old fragrance you come across somewhere, which was so close to you. These little things are enough to flush you with the old memories which you wanted to clutch to and probably an integral part of your life which you never wanted to leave.

But not always life is made up of sugar and spice and everything nice. Unexpected situations, and tortuous roads of fate do leave us in places we least expect to be in. Sometimes, people give up on us and sometimes we do and all we are left with are the memories. A silly moment, that brings a smile in our face and sometimes when the tears are unstoppable and rolls down your cheeks, and you start questioning ‘why me’.

I personally feel, that,we come across people in our life for specific reasons and purposes. Not all the close bonds formed are mere Physical attachments. Sometimes, we are so much intrigued by the deep conversations we have with someone that we enter a different level of bonding, where it gets quite impossible to keep ourselves distant from each other, the other times it may be a friendship so close that we can’t get over . The thought lingers in our mind and resorts even after it has become the subject of the past. Love, can hence be defined in different forms. And every person we come across in these forms, we end up lending a part of ourselves. The emotions, the time, the part of our-self we lived with the person can never be replicated with someone else nor replaced.A part of us, always lives in them and a part of them in us; deep down etched,either in the form of a smile or tears.

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For the best form of love when defined for me is the charm of the ‘Old school love’.The type of love when your heart skips a beat when you are able to steal a glance of him/her. The love that takes effort and patience of pursuing the one you are in love with. Which takes endurance and perseverance of not giving up on someone you want to be with.The one that is filled with moments of uniqueness, be it the smile and blush in your cheeks when your phone pops up with the notification or a message you were expecting from someone or the butterflies in stomach, when you are back meeting him/her and then replaying those moments in your head incessantly.

These little moments joy fills your heart with so much of happiness that you start falling in love with yourself and your life all over again. No doubt, in today’s world, we are exposed to a plethora of choices, as it has shrunk way too much with the expansion of technology, and it shall continue to. But there will be hardly hundreds you will meet in your lifetime you shall remember and just a handful in this crowd of millions who will manage a steal a part of you. Can you even fathom, the amount of energy the universe has put in to select just specific people  who has crossed your life?Maybe with good and bitter experiences but why?Because everything happens for a reason, sometimes we very small unable to envision it.

So to all the men I have loved and also those who have loved me admired me. This is a note of thanks for you. Thank you for making me fall in love with myself and love my life in times when I never thought I could. Thank you for leaving me, as I never knew, nor could I have known, how strong and independent I emotionally am that I can complete myself in every possible way. That today, when I close my eyes to rewind the chapters and live through the moments , I see only happiness, because you have led me to be a better version of myself.

I learnt the meaning of life and enriched myself amidst the mayhem and myriad  of experiences lent. But what I promised myself is never to let myself turn into a bitter and caustic person from inside out. Ponderous, yes I am, yet with a lot of warmth exuberating for the people I love and care. Shelled, I am, yet peeping through a hole in the hope of a bright sunny day, waiting to break free and never get into it again. Guarded, I am by my own fears, but in solace with my inner peace.

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Remember not everyone who is a part of your life deserves you nor is anyone so important that you hand over the  strings of your life for them to pull. Emotions are powerful. Invest it wisely only where returns are guaranteed.

All Love!!

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