There was an awkward silence in the room. She was surrounded by 3 ladies or most probably 2 ladies and 1 gentleman. She never had an idea about what was going on and why she was being questioned with silly topics. She noticed there was a board written ‘school for handicapped’ wherein she was out of knowledge what even ‘handicapped’ means.
While entering the premises, a clerk kind of guy asked her mother to come inside and wondered if her kid can manage to sit alone or will leave the place unannounced. The small girl giggled. Why she would leave if her mother advises her to wait for her?
She was being offered with multiple unwanted surprises. They showed her a few pictures and asked to elaborate on them. She did. She was on that impression where any of them would inform her about the purpose.
Every day she used to visit the school with her mother and stopped going to her own school because she was ‘sick’. Nevertheless, she never knew what kind of sickness she has.
One fine day, she had been told to wash her hair well because she needed to undergo some tests. She did. They put some white toothpaste kind of stuff in the root of her hair in small amounts all over her head and put her head into a big machine that looks like a time-lapse machine.
She was so frightened to see a machine like that and she thought they might get killed by it. Everything went well. She came back home. While getting down from the auto-rickshaw, the uncle from the grocery shop asked, “what’s that in her head???” Mom hesitated and answered,” dawai (medicine).”
She had to cut her hair later due to that white sticky stuff which ruined her hair.
All must be impatient to know what she was suffering from. Let me explain the symptoms because I also don’t know the name of the disease.
She used to shout at night, cry while sleeping, grab her father’s hard, her screams show how afraid she is. She was afraid of everything. She lost weight. She stopped going to school. She was sick.
After all the counseling and therapy, she came up with a report. It states that she is too much attached to her mother and she needs some care. Also, she is overly mature than her age, 13 years.
But the report did not turn up. She was deprived of her mother’s love, despite being together, she used to miss her company. No one cared. Time passed by. She was tired. She was devastated.
Soon she realized, no one else would help her if she does not help herself. Next year she had her board exams, she ranked the first in class. She took admission to a very reputed school and again she cut the crap by scoring even better than before.
She is an elderly, matured lady with a lot of ups and downs in life. A child who craved for some love from parents, but never got.
One of my co-writers asked the last day if I think the past should not ruin the present. From the recollection of this experience from someone who is the closest to my heart, I smiled. Yes, past should not control the present nor future, but would you be able to stop yourself being emotional when a mother loves her kid and it reminds you about your childhood friend? No, never.
Life is never a cakewalk, neither we expect it to be. But few incidents turn up to be a nightmare in our lives. We overcome it by time, but not by mind.
I am still in touch with that small girl, certainly not small anymore, a grown-up matured lady who still remembers the old days and cries on time. She googles the name of the institute where she has been diagnosed for months and cries.
She dreams of adopting a child, raises her the way she wants to be raised since childhood. We ask, why adoption when she can give birth to a child? She answered,” I might get my own child someday, but it won’t fulfill my gaps of not being loved if I don’t love a child who is equally deprived like me.” And, she won my heart this way.
I wish her all the very best in life, she is my strongest queen of the battlefield. She will win the race she has started years ago and will make herself feel loved by loving a baby girl like her.