I had this situation a couple of months back when I became extremely fat. I weighed around 200 pounds with a waistline of 45inches. Once everyone around me started saying that I needed to check with my health, I started working out and lost a lot of weight. The same set of people said that I have become thin and need to gain some weight. After I gained some muscles, the same people said that I was on steroids.
Apart from that, I’ve been working in BPO’s since last 7years because I enjoy working in this industry. I love to do night and graveyard shifts. I hear the same set of people saying, “He must be on drugs because he does Night Shift.”
“Since he’s working in a BPO, he must be a Womanizer.” (correct me if I spelt womanizer correctly)
“Does he even work in BPO since he is out all night? Who knows!”
I mean there’s nothing good they have said.
Lately, I just asked myself that “Who are these people? Do they matter to me? Were they any way responsible in my upbringing? Where they present when I was going through a certain situation? Should I even care about what they’re talking?” and the only reply I got for all my questions is a big NO.
Dealing with these people I realized that there are people in life who will keep talking and its beyond our control. You do good, they find out the negative and talk. You do bad, they talk more. You pass in an exam, they’ll say you cheated. You fail in the same, they’ll say you’re useless. You marry a girl your parents like, they say she’s ugly. You marry a girl of your own choice, they say you must have gone against your parents.
So, I just made a list of people who matter to me and asked them how they will behave if I become extremely fat or thin or black or color my hair blonde and they said they won’t care at all. They loved me for the person I was and not for the person I looked.
Since then I’ve been in my own carefree zone where I do what I like and say what I like, and I’ve been doing pretty good. People who matter to me stayed and the ones who don’t, I do not see them anywhere around. Funny part is that I don’t even remember their names sometimes. I get a kick out of pin pointing at their problems and making a joke out of it when they try to talk about me somewhere. Try this and they’ll think twice before pin pointing at you. They might talk behind your back which they always do but that again should not bother you.
I only get to meet these people at parties or if they visit home to for a tea sometimes and I cannot help but care less about whatever opinion they have about me because they have never been on the journey that I have been on. Neither they have ever been so important to me that I would bother to ask them to step into my shoes. I only have one reply for their opinion and that is “Its always Mind over Matter. I Don’t Mind, and You Do Not Matter.”