Hello, I have been coping with this for a couple of years now and I have learned my way out of this. I have been struggling with myself how I felt having gained so much weight, during my stay with the in-laws. Gorging on delicious foods, not keeping a check on my weight, and letting anyone feed me anything with rich oil and fats!!
That was a game-changer for me when I bought my favorite one-piece for my birthday lunch and didn’t think that the dress won’t actually fit me since I have gained 10kgs weight.
I thought that was a stretchable dress so will hide my flaws and I will not be embarrassed. Well, turned out, the dress won’t even glide through my shoulders and I felt suffocated in it. I looked myself in the mirror and never felt so unattractive and unhappy in 26 years of my life.
I asked my husband, was I still pretty to him to which he replied “yes and always” – I was relieved. Somewhere deep I felt, this is just a generic statement, my husband loved me so I will always be pretty to him no matter how much weight I gained or thin I became.
So it was for my happiness at least that I have to start controlling what I ate and my sleep pattern, and how active I stay in the entire day. Not to mention: cutting out on sweets which are my favorite. So I started with joining my cousin’s yoga class (she just became a yoga teacher and needed people to join her class).
I was compelled to join every day after the first day, as if I skipped even one day of class, she would ping me on WhatsApp asking why didn’t I join. Was I well or did I not like her class!
I was stuck in a dilemma of how to tell her NO every time I would come to the end of her class. I didn’t feel like doing yoga as it was difficult and didn’t match my timings.
I work from night 9-6 and sleep the rest of the day till 1 pm in the afternoon. I have my lunch by 3 pm and then yoga class started at 5 pm every Mon, Wed, and Friday and also on Sundays at 11 am which is like my week off and I wanted to chill over doing yoga and sweating myself for 1 torturing hour.
I bought a yoga mat, started eating boiled veggies, and soya chunks. Eggs with cucumber and salad boiled pasta with one spoon of mayonnaise for taste, and couldn’t even touch cheese for the fear of getting fat (which later proved to be false). I used to eat bread, with egg salad spread and one glass of warm milk with Horlicks. I don’t have liquid milk every day, so I bought a slim and fat-free skimmed milk powder from Amul. I used to eat cereals (oats and cornflakes) and also Horlicks in that powder milk with warm water. It felt good and energetic for the first few months, but later I lost interest in the type of food I was having. It caused me back pains, less energy bloating, and feeling hungry all the time as I stopped eating the regular quantity of food (basic rice and lentils) and cut them down to half.
So, finally, I have decided to not go by what others say. I will eat what I feel like and to my heart’s content, that doesn’t mean I am giving up on a healthy way of living, just a more balanced way of living, and not end up starving myself in the course. I am done listening to people commenting and passing their views on me even when I am least interested.
I don’t need their opinion when they themselves look like a bunch of walking cows. I am not judging people on their looks, because I know how I look. All I trying to say is do not let yourself down for the sake of what others think! Because at the end of the day it’s you whose happiness matters the most and nobody will care about that more than you will.
Happy Eating and self-loving!!!!