Do we really need to prove our love? Does buying an expensive gift for your partner can really count to prove your love? Can it bridge the gap between the two? Here are my personal thoughts on this topic.
It is indeed a nice gesture and act of thoughtfulness when you choose a gift for your loved one… but do some objects can improve the intimacy between two souls?? Let me tell you a story.
In my college days, I befriended with a guy from the starting day of my course. He was a nice chap, a bright student, and a fast learner. He always took care of me, helped me in my studies. We studied together in the library, made notes and partnered with our projects together. I was very comfortable with him.
Later he confessed his love to me. I wanted to hold my hand, proposed me for marriage. I seriously loved him as my friend, was completely dependent on him. If he is not present in the class, I felt like not staying in college or going to the canteen either.
I know he loved me deeply, but deep inside my heart never accepted him as a lover. But I tried… I tried to sit with him in an open field under the setting sun keeping my head on his shoulders, run across the roads holding his hand, tried to feel that jealousy when others talk to him and tried to feel the rights and probe you are mine only… But could never feel the passion inside.
But in the same way, in some years I fell in love with one of my friends. He was one in the group of common friends. In his eyes, I was just a friend, with whom he was comfortable sharing time and thoughts, chatting in a restaurant over a cup of coffee.
But still, I don’t know when and how I started understanding that I get weaker in my knees when he looks at me. I skip a heartbeat when he smiles at me… with an unheeding touch of him, thousands of butterflies fly around…
But he never looked back at me with any special attention, never asked me if I reached home safe or not, never tried to accompany me till I get a cab for my destination, never looked at my unruly bangs hanging on my cheeks with a comforting glance and tried to fix it with his fingers, stroking the back of my forehead.. the way I thought of romanticism, unfortunately he never gave me any of the signs.
Still, I feel I need to wait for him leaving all my work. In the scorching heat on a sunny day among the busy crowd passing by, my eyes searched for a glimpse of him only.
I felt like getting drenched in heavy rain knowingly it will cause a high fever. So that he will look back and think of me, ask me worryingly am I feeling better now? Patting my hair, he will let me rest my head in his lap. Insist on taking medicine and tell me to get well and say “let’s meet at our usual place… haven’t seen you for so many days, missing you” …
These don’t happen, I know these are my fantasies. But you know what it basically tells? It tells I can feel love enormously for someone within my heart unconditionally, just like that. It checks for nothing else other than love, cast, ego, background, Idea of romance and all the other calculations and expectations can’t beat the feeling.
Whether the other person understands or reciprocates the same love or not doesn’t matter. I might understand one day and choose my way soon. But the feeling of love can just bud inside you without expecting things. It is a pure feeling beyond your mind’s restricted thoughts or control. There are no particular steps which will make you fell in love, rather you fall for a person hopelessly.
Believe me, it takes nothing to prove. No gifts or material things can mend a relation. Money, Gold, diamond rings can’t prove or build a true relation. Of course, you can think of a person and buy things to celebrate. But not to provide it as proof of your love.
I had parted bitterly from my college friend whom I mentioned earlier. Who used to be everything in my college days, is now not even in my Facebook friend list anymore. But I felt strongly about my decision, I clearly stated that am not feeling the same about him and it created a ruckus for him then. He couldn’t take this rejection and said mean things about me, spreading bitter words in my friend circle. But I felt better than, seeing the actual face of the person, who so-called loved me earlier. It is better that You “Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie”
“I did so much for you, I bought things for you, I helped you with my notes; still how can you say that you don’t love me. You are ungrateful, you are not capable of anyone’s love, you lost all respect of mine… nobody would love you as much as I did…”
You know these words make it cheaper and made me more confident about my decision. Cause I believe, when you love someone, you do things for them wholeheartedly. You want nothing in exchange other than the well-being of your loved one.
Love can’t be bought. It’s not that you decided on a price or gifted precious materials and you would be getting back what you wanted, or you become the rightful owner of that person. Your gifts, time, care doesn’t give you authority over the person. A relationship is a very personal feeling which grows within two people for each other.
If it comes, it comes naturally. If you don’t feel something worthy inside, feel comfortable with any advancements then it is not for you. Arranging perfect decoration and environment attempts to get closer, preparing for a kiss, setting for a pre-wedding/ post-wedding pictures don’t provide any guarantee of love.
When you feel the eagerness to see the person, thrilled to put him/ her in your arms… looking directly to their eyes feeling a tingle when the person touches you casually… then you are into the relation. You can’t set up a relation or buy it at an appropriate price. If it doesn’t bud inside you naturally, then it’s never going to awaken even if both the bodies are lying together.
So, if someone doesn’t understand your love, let it be. love comes without any condition.
Take care of the person silently, give small hints with love, be with the person in his/ her journey. Help them to grow, listen to them in their solidity, support their dreams… But please don’t push to prove your love.