When I write about Love, Life and Relationship, I find that it really connects with people on a deeper level. So today I thought of writing about our One and only Special person and when to realize that we have finally found them. The phenomenon of having an Ideal Life Partner has been a topic of self-doubt for almost everyone over the years. Most of us have had multiple Relationship Advises from Friends, Families and Internet too. We have also seen those Television series, Movies and those Romantic Songs that shows us how Love, Relationship and Marriages look like. Nowadays we also have Reality shows and Cell Phone Apps promising that they will help us find The One. Not only that but we also unknowingly consume a lot of ideas from people who are around us. However, when all this mixes up in our brain, it turns out to be a disaster. Personally, I do think that it’s good to always not complicate things and keep it all simple. So here is my thought on when to know that you have finally found The One.
Starting with the simplest thing here, be with someone who is always there with you ‘in the moment’ keeping all the materialistic BS aside. Personally, I love being around people who help me forget to check my phone. If you’re with someone who is getting distracted by calls, emails or messages when they’re with you then they’re not with you even when they are with you. Maybe they’re not even listening to you so it should be quite clear to you that they’re not the one.
Moving on to the next trait of our ideal one, it should be someone who should be aware of their own Self Worth. They should be independent and should be able to grow on their own. It is possible that some of their priorities might not match with you and that should be completely okay. It might also be possible that they might not like your friends and have their own set of friends and that is also completely okay. They shouldn’t be the one looking for you to complete them or finish them. They should be someone looking for you to further enhance them and help them grow. So basically, they’re growing with you and are also helping you grow.
When you think how they will let you grow then it’s up to you to be with the one who will support your dreams. Do not get me wrong here. When I say that ‘they’ll support your dreams’ then that does not mean or it’s not necessary that they will go ahead and fulfill your dreams. It means that they’ll respect and value your priority about what you’re chasing. They’ll not play the cheerleader for you all the time, but they’ll be the happiest when they see you get there.
The next one will be a bit tough and some of us have learned about it the hard way. It is called Trust which is one of the hardest and rarest things in the world. What I think about trust is that it should be earned. It’s not something that should be given upfront, but it should be like a step by step procedure. So, you start with “No Trust at all” at the bottom and then simultaneously move one step up every time finally leading to Unconditional Trust. The problem with most of us is that we believe that we either trust someone or don’t trust someone at all and there’s nothing in between. So, when you bluntly give away your unconditional trust in someone while they’re still at the bottom, there’s a higher chance that you might end up being hurt. So, it’s always good to build trust rather than just giving it straight away. Let the other person’s actions and efforts build the trust inside you day by day. This brings me to the next one which is the fact that “YOU CAN DISAGREE!!”
Most of us think that since we’re in a relationship with someone, we can agree on each opinion of one another or like the same stuff but that’s not the case at all. You have the right to have different opinions and different ideas but still, manage to work it together. Sometimes this might also lead to fights and arguments. I’ll just say what I’ve heard famous Monk and my favorite Speaker Jay Shetty says and that is “When you’re fighting, do remember that it’s not you two fighting against each other but you two fighting against the problem.” So basically, it’s not about who is right and who is wrong but it’s more about a discussion about drawing a conclusion together.
Lastly, and the most important one; be with someone with whom you are YOU. Not those social media identities or those public images but just You.
If you’ve got any insights or an incident to share about how you found The One then do let us know in the comments.