I can’t recall the exact time but I was holding the upward rod of a crowded bus where air could hardly pass. A WhatsApp came which showed the name SAMAR (The admin of the page). He sent me his write-up on “Right person at wrong time” and asked for my view on that particular thought. The first time I could only answer him that ‘I ain’t able to figure out what to reply you actually’! And this is what that has led me to pen down my extreme disagreement against his blog on ‘Meeting right person at wrong time’.
Back to July, 2019
My phone beeped. I rushed towards it to check if there is any ‘Come back to me’! There was just a group message.
I can’t get over him. How would I deal with all the memories? How would I survive? What if he never comes back? How would I move on? It will take more than my life! Perhaps, it won’t end then also. All what I could do was screaming at the top of my voice and cry, wiping it off. The day went. The month took too long to pass! My love has arrived back once again, countless time. We again won. We will always. Our time has hardly been right!
When the thing comes to LOVE, I have never been the practical one who plans everything accordingly and hears only how the brain instructs. I am never been the one who makes plan B if the first one fails. No, I am not the one who will tell ‘LEAVE IT’ if my partner gets angry and stops talking. I will beg to him for next countless years to make things in favor. I am not the one who will give up on the right one just because the situation isn’t favorable. I believe in ‘MAKE IT CORRECT. LET US FIGHT IT OUT’!
Relationship is not all about flaunting sassy pictures with the most cheesy quotes asking for all the unnecessary attention or it isn’t a matter of only hanging out at expensive places and showing off the trendy poses with the partner. It is something humongously bigger than all of these shits. Relationship needs immense love, patience and hope when things are heading enormously wrong. Even when both of you know that you’ll only abuse if you talk. Giving up is easy. Leaving takes no time. Moving on and settling your life isn’t difficult. Being selfish is effortless but trying to hold the bond in the name of love, for the sake of togetherness might be painful at some point but it gives peace which we’ve been looking for since birth. When you know you can’t be together, when you know you need to struggle more, when you know sleepless nights are awaiting, when you know breakups will happen, when you know you will cry hard again, just right then, take a grip at your relationship tighter. Be such a stringent who can’t be bent, can’t be molded. Be rigid to your decision, it will work out.
Trust me, there is no right or wrong time. In the era of digitization, we have forgotten the word EFFORT. Putting effort and having endurance through each and every anxiety are now the facts which none talks about. And this is why most of them aren’t so lucky to taste the true aroma of LOVE. Just imagine a day when you’re cuddling with your love on a holiday and caressing each other. If this is what you pray for, it is worth to fight with everyone, everything.
I know there will be days, when you’ll be
surrounded by your friends, laughing at old jokes, complaining about unfit boys and misfit clothes.. and then a song will come up, the first song you ever made love to and you will feel like smashing your chair through the glass table and screaming, begging them to stop playing it but you’ll sit there and swallow the tears down with burning shots, smoke the sobs away like rain clouds because you’re just brave that way. Darling, you’re undaunted. Fight it.
There will be 2:30 am’s when you’ll lie in bed, scrolling through your feed and swiping away meaningless conversations with strangers that started off interesting but became predictably boring and your parents have gone off to sleep in the other room and your best friend is on the phone with respective partner and you don’t want to be a burden… and that’s when it’ll hit you, like a freight train.
You’ll type twenty different texts to him that you won’t send. You’ll start to think it was all your fault and neither closing
your eyes nor opening them will stop the avalanche of images flooding your head. you’ll curl up in bed, in the empty space he has left, holding on to yourself with both arms to stop the shivering, digging your nails into your skin, in places where he used to kiss.
You’ll bite into the pillow and howl so that no one can hear you. you’ll cry till your throat is raw and bleeding. You’re lucky if you can cry. most of us can’t.
Memories are funny things. They have an odd way of coming back to life. You keep seeing yourself beside them, a life you had dreamt up inside your head. It’s okay to grieve, to fall apart.
Just remember one thing, love is precious. If you’ve ever felt any hint of being loved, hold on to it. Don’t give up. The person needs to be right, time isn’t. Don’t flow away in the saga of impermanence. Don’t be fast. Take a deep breath and swear that you can make it. Get ready for everything. The things that have nearly killed you doesn’t have any power over you darling. What’s the fear then?
The next time you relapse with the memories, with the anguish, don’t let it break you down. Don’t let the questions come to your mind, you’ll never find answers. You’ll feel like centipedes eating away inside your skull. Love hard. Very very hard so that one day the clock stops ticking and say ‘You’ve won dear’.
Fight it. Fight it. Fight it.
Till there is nothing left to kill, nothing left to break. Let the sun in removing the curtains of your dark bedroom. Shine like the rising sun. Life has thrown stones at you and now chase back. Wrestle with the world to make the time perfect just to keep your love at the left of your heart secure and safe.
You’re not the damsel in distress. you’re the one who cries herself to sleep every night, through the nightmares.. and wakes up smiling, despite them, every single day.
What we all need to do is FIGHTING. FIGHTING with the own heart, own conflictions, complications, pre-conceived notions to show the universe “WE LOVED. WE ARE IN LOVE AND HAVING FACED ALL THE ADVERSITIES OF TIME AND TIDE, WE HAVE PAVED IT TO HERE WINNING AGAINST THE ROAD OF HELL. TIME HAS BEEN MADE PERFECT. WE MADE IT”