Top tips on letting go
Sometimes we just can’t seem to let go of a person who is no longer in our lives; whether that be an old friend an ex partner or an estranged family member. They seem to endlessly come back into your minds, our dreams, our consciousness. If we feel that a significant amount of time has passed and that we have allowed ourselves to feel the emotions of grief and loss (for more on healthy emotionally processing please see my previous post ‘the 5 dos and don’ts of healthy emotional processing’ then what else can we do? Please see the following three tips which will help you to let go of this person.
Tip #3 the power of visualization
Visualization is a powerful tool and one which will literally rewire your brain to let go of someone. It also works on an energetic level, severing the energetic ties between you and that person. Try the following exercises:
Before falling asleep at night, visualize the person you want to let go of standing behind a door. Now close that door, lock it and then padlock it again. Say their name in your mind and repeat ‘you will not come in’ three times. This should aid you in a good night’s rest and keep them out of your dreams and your mind in the daytime.
Another visualization practice which can help break the energetic ties bounding you and another person is:
Sit crossed legged and take a few deep breaths to relax the mind and the body. I’d recommend sitting here for a few minutes first just focusing on the breath. Now take your dominant hand and begin to comb it through the air in the space before chest, imagine you are gently pulling out cords which connect your heart to the person you want to let go off. After several minutes of doing this, or whenever you feel it is enough, stop and raise your dominant hand up. Then bring it down in front of the heart space in a swift chopping motion, repeat this three times, as if you are literally chopping away at energetic cords
Practice these as often as you need (I recommend once a day) until you start to experience a difference.
#2 Performing a physical ritual
Actually doing something physical to release the person can be an incredibly empowering experience and can signify to the brain and body that you are ready for new beginnings.
One way to do so is to collect all of the belongings in your possession which remind you of the person or gifts that they have given you etc. Then get rid of these in an appropriate way; sell them, take them into charity shops, dispose of them in the bin. In this way you are clearing space in your life for something new to blossom.
Another way is to write this person a letter or perhaps collect old letters they have given you or old photographs. And now burn them. As the flames lick at the pages, take a moment of gratitude for having had this person in your life, whether they bought you joy or hard lessons, and know that from theses ashes something else great is awaiting to arise.
#1 Focusing on the present moment
As hard as it can be, continually bringing the mind back to focus on the present moment is the best way to let go of the past and to stop worrying about the future. When you find your mind drifting off this way, notice it and then bring the attention to the breath, your surroundings, the task that you are completing. The more we practice bringing ourselves back into the present moment, the more joy and freedom we will experience. In all of life’s challenges are gifts, let the gift of losing someone you cared about be that you are able to bring more focus and present moment awareness into your life. Practice this continually throughout the day and you will begin to notice how much better you feel; life becomes friendlier and full of ease, and that’s only the beginning!
So there we have it, my top three tips for letting go of someone. Do you have any that you would like to add? Let us know in the comments below.