Recently when I left my previous job I felt extremely sad on my last day. Kisi ko bataya nai lekin I cried by the time I reached home taking my last drop. My dad opened the door and he saw me weeping. He just hugged me and said its ok.. This is life. If you don’t grab opportunities then you won’t grow. And to grow you need to take some tough decisions that upset you. However he did not stopped me from crying. I cried for a while and then slept. Next day when I woke up I actually felt pretty good and light. I didn’t had anymore regret or sadness from the previous night. I actually felt quite happy and excited about joining a new workplace in a new city. I went to my dad and asked him that why did he not wiped my tears last night and let me cry. His answer actually answered many of my questions.
He said “Its always good to let someone let out their emotions. Even when you were young and when you cried or got angry or upset over things I never stopped you. Stopping someone from letting out their emotions builds an insecurity in them and I’ve never wanted that to happen to you.”
We often hear people say this to their kids that “Kya ladkio ke tarha rorahe ho” or “Bahadur bache nai rote” when they cry. Also tell them ke “Gussa thook do” when they get angry. In a way, we stop them from letting out their emotions. Sadness and anger are emotions too and it should not be allowed to be within. Asking someone from refraining from it right since their childhood actually makes them insecure. They think they might be considered weak if they cry or people might call them ill mannered if they get angry.
It quite similarly effect our emotion of Love. We’ve all been so in secured about all our feelings since an early age that we feel scared to say someone how much we love them. It gets worse when things don’t work out after we say someone we love them and blame them and ourselves all the time. End result: We’re afraid to be in Love once again.
Actually the whole system gets screwed up. Bachpan se kisi ne na rone diya aur na gussa hone diya. So when we fail in Love, we can neither cry nor be angry and because of that we also don’t forgive. I felt thankful to have a dad with such an opinion. That might also be the reason I’ve never been scared to Love again and again. Every time I fail in Love, I get angry, I cry like a baby, I get upset for a while but once that phase is over then I’m all up on my feet and ready to love again with the same passion as the previous one. Funny thing is that it keeps on continuing so now I’ve decided to think before I commit to someone. But still, even though I know that being in Love with someone (Especially in India) is like jumping off a cliff with no harnace, I still love to jump off that cliff every single time because I have never stopped my emotions from flowing. I’ve been angry, I’ve been sad, I’ve cried nights but the end is that I’m happy. That has helped me rise each and every time.
Not only that.. It also helps you love yourself. Now self love is not about getting a nice haircut and clicking selfies for instagram. Though it could be a small part of self love. Its treating yourself like someone you love the most. Its something eternal. Till you don’t love yourself, you won’t be able to love anyone else and that can only happen if you let out all your emotions. Holding on to your emotion is like holding yourself from growing or holding on to a past that is not at all beneficial now.