Wednesday February 20, 2019

I Don’t Mind. You Don’t Matter

I had this situation a couple of months back when I became extremely fat. I weighed around 200 pounds with a waistline of 45inches. Once everyone around me started saying that I needed to check with my health, I started working out and lost a lot of weight. The same set of people said that I have become thin and need to gain some weight. After I gained some muscles, the same people said that I was on steroids.

Apart from that, I’ve been working in BPO’s since last 7years because I enjoy working in this industry. I love to do night and graveyard shifts. I hear the same set of people saying, “He must be on drugs because he does Night Shift.”

“Since he’s working in a BPO, he must be a Womanizer.” (correct me if I spelt womanizer correctly)
“Does he even work in BPO since he is out all night? Who knows!”

I mean there’s nothing good they have said.

Lately, I just asked myself that “Who are these people? Do they matter to me? Were they any way responsible in my upbringing? Where they present when I was going through a certain situation? Should I even care about what they’re talking?” and the only reply I got for all my questions is a big NO.
Dealing with these people I realized that there are people in life who will keep talking and its beyond our control. You do good, they find out the negative and talk. You do bad, they talk more. You pass in an exam, they’ll say you cheated. You fail in the same, they’ll say you’re useless. You marry a girl your parents like, they say she’s ugly. You marry a girl of your own choice, they say you must have gone against your parents.

So, I just made a list of people who matter to me and asked them how they will behave if I become extremely fat or thin or black or color my hair blonde and they said they won’t care at all. They loved me for the person I was and not for the person I looked.

Since then I’ve been in my own carefree zone where I do what I like and say what I like, and I’ve been doing pretty good. People who matter to me stayed and the ones who don’t, I do not see them anywhere around. Funny part is that I don’t even remember their names sometimes. I get a kick out of pin pointing at their problems and making a joke out of it when they try to talk about me somewhere. Try this and they’ll think twice before pin pointing at you. They might talk behind your back which they always do but that again should not bother you.

I only get to meet these people at parties or if they visit home to for a tea sometimes and I cannot help but care less about whatever opinion they have about me because they have never been on the journey that I have been on. Neither they have ever been so important to me that I would bother to ask them to step into my shoes. I only have one reply for their opinion and that is “Its always Mind over Matter. I Don’t Mind, and You Do Not Matter.”

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  1. It is a shame that people are constantly telling others they need to change in one way or another. There is no “perfect” and as long as YOU are happy their opinions shouldn’t matter/bug you. I am glad you are doing what you want for you!

  2. People who think they know everything about you sucks. I hate those kinds of people. They’d try to make your life “perfect” in their standard.

  3. Great play off the well known quote by Satchel Paige, “If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.” I’m glad to read how you implemented this in dealing with people who made comments about your weight.

  4. Getting yourself in the right frame of mind is the key to your happiness. You can’t control what people say and do, but you can control the way you react to it. Sounds like you’re definitely on the right track!

  5. I ‘ am so relate with you Many people when they look at me and gaining weight they say that I’m not yet a married but my body looks very fat but I don’t mind them instead I ignore them and do the things that makes me feel happy. Oh well I’am working in BPO before last year in 3-4 months only .

  6. It is so freeing to release the opinions of others off of your back! Happy you have found some peace and not let these others opinions decide what you think of yourself!

  7. Ignore them! People who make you feel inferior are insecure with something about you. As long as your happy, their words don’t matter!

  8. It’s up to you to set your own standards because people are always going to talk. Glad you’ve come to terms with yourself and are begging to say forget them.

  9. Usually people tend to speak out about someone out of jealousy, sure sometimes they do care and want the best for you, but you need to distinguish people that mean something to you, and who only tell you things for your own good, and people who are doing it cause they just want to be heard.

  10. I have also some toxic people in my life. But if you want to be peaceful then just move on and it is the only right way to live peacefully. Love yourself and ignore these people.

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