How does someone’s past keep on blackmailing him/her? Why does this happen? How difficult is it to overcome so that one could keep going on with his own life?

Let’s start with a short story here:

Vasundhara, a girl, who was in her intermediate, fell in the trap of one guy. She has always been focused on her studies and nothing else mattered to her, but her marks. Unfortunately, one day she came across a guy who claimed to be in love with her. For a girl like her, relationship, love everything was unknown.

One fine evening, when she went out of her coaching class, she found the guy waiting for her. He approached her for a drink. After hesitating for a while, she gave up cause she understood that there is no point in arguing. She was two drinks down when the guy took her to an unknown place and took advantage of her being drunk. 

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He kept on threatening her for a few months. Initially, she was scared and did things she was asked to by him. But slowly she realized, the more scared she will be, the more the guy will threaten her. She called him up and said, “Do whatever you feel like, I am not scared of you anymore. If you try to contact me one more time, I will involve the police. Go fuck yourself you spineless swine!”

It worked. The guy was gone from her life. It took her quite a while to overcome what had happened to her. She was scared to trust anyone else. She planned to keep herself away from any kind of relationship until she met Aadarsh. He was the guy who changed her entire concept about relationship, about love, about commitment. Today, they are happily in a relationship fighting against all the odds coming in their way and going towards a better future together.

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Now, let’s come to a question.

What if she would have stick to her dark past and would have never given a chance to Aadarsh? Could she be happy today? I guess, we all have the answer with us.

Life is all about ups and downs. We all are put through difficult situations every single day. In our childhood, we all are taught one important lesson about life which is, “Failure is the pillar of success.” But for most of us, the lesson remains as a bookish one and most of us do not let it be applied to our daily lives.

Life is not rocket science, but every single day it teaches us some important lessons. Rather than crying over the incident that is pulling you down, accept it as an important chapter of your life. Not looking back at your past does not mean you forget about it. It means, does not repeat the same mistakes again. Accept what has happened and move on. Neither NASA nor Russia launches a mission in one go. Repeated failure boils their blood more every day to achieve their target sooner in the near future.

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Not all of us go through the same kind of problems in life. So the way of acceptance will also be different. Sometimes you need to let out all your tears and fears to move on, sometimes you need to put a smile on your face, look into the mirror and tell yourself “All is well.” Someone told me a while back that everything happens for a reason, sooner or later you will realize it. Though initially I did not agree to his point of view and behaved like an insane one stating that “Why me!” But days passed by and today I am proud to say that whatsoever had happened has made me what I am today. A few years back when I was diagnosed with a severe spinal injury, I almost gave up. But after a couple of months, I realized, maybe it was the time I should use to do something productive. Trust me, that was the time I started blogging and today you are reading my posts on The Mood Recipes.

While writing this article, I spoke to a few people about the same and I have got a few responses like the person has not yet overcome the past trauma and so he might not be the right person to talk much about it. I have got a few positive responses as well which might help you to overcome your pastor to at least work on it. Here we go:

Samar says, “We should not let our past to lead the present and so the future, as this might affect negatively the current situation.
For example, If you’re in a relationship and keep nagging about your past, it will give the feeling that your present partner is not good enough.
We should always learn from our past and move the hell on, instead of dwelling over it.

Dishari says, ” Now this one is something that might sound easy to deal with but ten times more difficult to actually fight against it! We all have memories in PAST and many of us have been hurt so violently that even if we try to heal ourselves, that leaves a mark on a corner of our heart and keeps on peeping through whenever we give ourselves a chance to step forward. Now, this is where we decide to take a back seat and don’t welcome the things that might be ‘The Best’ for us. Here, we actually allow the past to ruin a beautiful future inadvertently.

Deep says, ” If you want to waste your time – start scrutinizing your past.
If you want to be better from where you are – plan for a good future.
If you want to live a good life – do as per your plan. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.”

Juvin says, “We should not look back because past experiences always haunt us. But in the back of mind, it always affects the present and somehow the future too. It takes time to heal but past can not be forgotten and it can ruin our lives too.

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There is no harm if you are crying for your loss. We all lose something or the other in our life. But you need to know when it is time for you to stop your tears. An unlimited failure relationship should not stop you from making you’re a new one. Every day when we grow up, we keep on losing friends and that is absolutely okay. It is a part of our lives. The more you lose, the more you gain. It is not about the quantity, it is about the quality. At one point in your life, you may see nobody is with you, you are standing alone in the middle of nowhere. It’s okay. You will come out of it and you will find a better company. Don’t let yourself dip down in the loneliness. Hold on to yourself. You are no God, no superpower. You will make more mistakes and life will still go on. Wait for the right time for the miracle to happen. Trust me, Miracles happen, otherwise, the word would have not been printed on the dictionary.

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In the journey of life, do not lose yourself to make a better future. Destiny must have its own way planned for you. Do not quit in the middle. There is no person who did not have a dark past. Every single person goes through pain. It is on you how you accept the pain. Either you be traumatized for life, or you stand strong. Sometimes we wish we could delete a few memories from our mind, but unfortunately, we are not yet that advanced to do so. In order to overcome those past memories, we need to create many more new ones. Life always deserves a “Chance”. You deserve a chance because You can fix yourself.

Always remember that the most beautiful rainbow could only be seen after heavy rain. So let go off your past, be your own favorite rockstar and enjoy the present. The future will surely shine brighter.