“…11:00AM in the morning, I pulled my body out of my Bed. The lady beside me still sleeping. I wore my jeans, shirt and jacket, took my cash that she has kept on the table and moved out of this multi storeyed house to the silent road outside. The sun hurt my body because she loved to stub out burning cigarettes on my body saying that it gave her pleasure and a crazy orgasm. And its not just this woman last night who loved these tormenting violence for her own sexual pleasure but there are women who think that its okay to do anything because they’ve bought us for certain price. Sex, as explained everywhere should be a pleasurable and a connecting experience between two people but there are darker sides to everything.
Being a Male Hooker or a Gigolo is not at all fun and games as people think. Though it has been forgotten in the discourse on gender equality, but just as female sex workers face violence and abuse, we face such situations from time to time as well. Recently, Mrs. Sharma paid me less just because I refused to take a strap-on dildo anally. There have been times when I have tried to protest about things that I’m not comfortable with and women have threatened me by telling that they’ll make a police complaint about me for raping them.
However there were also some gentle women who just wanted to hangout and talk. Sex was something which was either secondary or an afterthought for them. They were like these usual ideal women you have in your mind whom you would love to date and spend your lives with. One such women was Ms. Verma who actually scared the shit out of me. She was a 36-Year-Old widow who often took me for Wine and Dine to fancy restaurants. She always requested me to wear her late Husband’s Clothes and Watches when we went out which I felt was not that wierd. But when we just walked at the sea-side holding hands, she used to talk to me in her low sweet voice as if I was her husband. She used to remember her initial days when they met and dated and all I did was silently kept caressing her hand lightly making sure that I do not break her romantic nostalgia. Maybe it could be empathy but the thought of being attracted to her often crossed my mind and that scared me a lot. Being attracted to a client is the biggest fear for a Prostitute. Just like Ms. Verma, I have been on dates with multiple women who were not looking for Sex but just someone to talk and be their companion for a while.
The sad part about my job is that I have seen almost every side of women. There have been women who take breaks from their usual relationships and marriages, there are women who have been cheating on their partners from day-one. Then there are women who hate their family members and spouses so much that they just need Me to vent their anger. Mrs. Kapoor hated her husband and father-in-law so much that she choked me with her husband’s tie leaving me unconscious for a while. Mrs. Prasad had been married since three years and according to her, she is completely satisfied with her husband but still she just found it quite adventurous to cheat on her hsuband with me. I never judge people but people like Mrs. Prasad made it way more difficult for me to trust a woman once I decide to retire.
Mrs. Prasad introduced me to her friend Mrs. Khan who had a fantasy of seeing blood pouring out of the body. So she would just tie me up and beat me up with a lash till I started to bleed. Sometimes she would just bite my left chest and scratch the right one till she saw blood gushing out. Once she was satisfied with the amount of blood she saw, she would just sit at a distance and didle her clit till she reached orgasm. Recently I also met Mrs. Mishra who would keep slashing be with a blade while we’re at it. People like her prove that being a Lunatic or having a violent nature/fantasy is not gender based. Its something that a human being developes within them.
Be it any job, some people, when they pay you for it, they tend to forget that they’re dealing with a human being and like to exploit you as they like. Theres no doubt that I have met some of the most beautiful women in the city but there have been times when I have been beaten up, thrown around like a garbage and pissed upon by women for days and still continue to serve as a Gigolo because we have this ‘No-Looking-Back’ clause when we decide to take up this job, atleast till we reach a certain age when clients start thinking we’re completely useless now.
Another car stops with tinted black glass right in front of me while I write my diary. New client! Time to forget all the suffering and put on a smile to convince her for max cash.”