Around one and a half years back, one morning I woke up. The only thought I had in my mind was Why death is a part of our lives? I ended up writing about it and all the responses I have got on that post were enough as evident that none of us can accept the loss of our beloved one. Even though it is as normal as sunrise and sunset, losing one is never acceptable.
Today, all over India there is only one news going on. Famous and one of the finest Bollywood actor, Sushant Singh Rajput has committed suicide. Everyone is shaken with the fact, everyone is clueless about why he had taken such a drastic step in life! The irony is, the same actor made his last movie about suicide awareness and delivered the message to everyone that no matter what, taking away your own life can never be the solution. And today, he had the courage to take his own!
June 2017. I was studying for my semester exam when I got a call from one of my friends and he told me “my brother” committed suicide. Well, he was my junior, and I used to call him my brother and certainly he was no less than a real brother. He was someone so sensitive that loud noise scared him. But that morning he could actually gather enough courage to go to a train line and give his life away underneath those noisy wheels. He used to talk to me almost regularly. We used to discuss football, we discussed our semester holiday plans. The last time we spoke, he told me he would be going home after almost 1.5 years! But he never reached home. His dead body did. After 1.5 years, all that his parents got was two parts of his body!
Till day, I have not understood what all might have had come in his mind all night, what all he might have been through? Wasn’t there a single person whom he could at least talked to once? He could not gather the courage to speak to someone but could gather the courage to kill himself?
Certainly, a person, who has the courage to end his own life, is not a coward one! I repeat, a person who commits suicide, is not a coward! But before they take away their life, why can’t they talk to someone? Or is it just that they are too tired of explaining themselves? What if they have actually tried talking to someone and they never paid attention! What if we have always overlooked what he was going through?
Nowadays, in the name of #suicideawareness we see a lot of posts that if suicide ever crosses your mind, talk to me. What if when the person tried talking we have ignored them? What if our own behavior has pushed them towards that drastic step? The reason behind the depression of these people will die along with the person. You never know, constant body shaming a person can push him towards depression. Relationship failures can push him to depression, family pressuring someone about marriage, or pursuing a career that can push him to depression. A person you are making fun of might be going through depression already and all you are doing is giving him one more reason not to speak out about it.
I have a few pieces of advice for people going through this:
1. If suicidal thoughts are coming in your mind, sweetheart, you really need to talk. Talk to anyone, you have a pet? talk to him, he won’t judge you. Do you have a best friend? Please talk to him. You have nobody and everyone makes fun of you? Please go out and talk to a random stranger crossing by. A stranger is safe, he won’t judge you. Even if he does, he is a stranger, so it won’t matter. You are too shy to talk to anyone? Even with a stranger? We have psychiatrists. Please, I repeat, please consult one. It is absolutely normal to see one, you are not mad if you are going to one. You have to let it out before it eats you up all the way. You have to speak your heart out.
2. Dear one reading this, if a person wants to talk to you, please listen to what he wants to say. For a few minutes, stop being judgemental, just listen. Even if you do not like it, be polite and do not make fun. Bullying someone does not make you a hero any day. Before you make fun of someone’s lifestyle or how they look or how they dress up, please know, that person does give a fuck about it, it is already killing him inside. If you see someone making fun, stop them then and there. Go ahead and compliment the person. You will earn a smile and it won’t cost you anything too. If someone who is a complete stranger stops you and wants to talk to you, please listen. You might be ending up saving a life.
The person who is committing suicide will take away the reason along with them and their family will never know why they did that. They will regret the rest of their lives.
Don’t let a person’s social media posts fool you, the one committing suicide might have had thousands of friends and followers in social media, but none to talk in real. That’s another pain. A few days ago I came across a video where a model kept on posting her smiling pictures on media platforms and that video shows how depressed she was. She used to put a picture of her smiling just to gain some attention, some comments, that gave her a few seconds to smile, but in the end, she killed herself. Sometimes, you make fun of people for posting too much on social media as well. Let’s not do it from today. Let a person do what keeps him involved, busy, and a little happy.
Being rich will not save you from depression, name and fame can’t stop you from killing yourself. Chester Bennington then and now Sushant Singh Rajput has shown us this and this is hitting hard.
Death is a destiny, dying from a disease or an accident where you have no options left is still a loss but different. But one takes away his own life because of depression, we’re talking to that person, listening to him on time could have had saved him, is really unacceptable bitter truth of life.
Can we talk? Can we not?