The conflicts in relationships are inevitable. Every couple has their own issues and conflicts. You are already reading an article about saving the relationship, that means this relationship means a lot to you. You’ve already taken the first step towards ending it, just some more steps to make it like the previous times.
Here are some of the ways, you can resolve it peacefully, without hurting your better half.
Listening is the other half of the coin named “speaking out your issues”, People become vocal very often regarding their own problems and issues, however when it comes to listening to the issues of your partners, most people choose to ignore it knowingly or unknowingly. It’s the time to start listening and work upon the issues together as a couple.
Consider another point of view.
Whenever there is a fight between two people, every time there are points of view. It can’t be black and white every time, most of the time there are grey areas. Instead of fighting for our own point, we should consider thinking backward or why the partner is fighting in the first place. In a heated argument, we seem to miss it all the time.
Timing for discussing the issues.
It is very important for everyone to discuss the matters which is affecting the relationship; however, it is equally important to choose the correct time to discuss it. If your partner is having a rough day, maybe you should speak about it the next day, or the weekend or the time when he is free or leisure time. Discussing the issue at the wrong time may result in an unwanted heated conversation, which may act like gasoline in the fire.
The tone of voice in communication.
It is very important to watch the tone in which you are speaking to your partner. While we tend to think that our tone and the way is to speak is perfect in our head, we should start thinking about how we will feel if anyone speaks to us the same way we did.
If possible, Compromise.
Compromising in any situation is very hard, and most of the time, we don’t do that, not because we don’t love our partner but because we simply don’t want to move backward. I do understand that compromising doesn’t look good on our part, however, if we compromise a little bit, it will go a long way with our loved one. Be it a movie that you are planning or the restaurant cuisine, a little bit of adjustment and compromise goes a very long way.
Google the difference between “being honest” and “being rude”.
People often start acting very rude and hurtful and when they are confronted, they label it as “being honest”. Partners/couples need to be very careful while resolving issues. I will give you an example if someone asks you how am I looking?
Being honest reply: You need to work on so and so..as this is not looking good.
Being rude reply: You look pathetic, that’s the reason no one likes you and all..etc.
Nowadays, “looking cool” is very important, I agree, but that doesn’t mean one has to put down another person to look so. Be careful, you might lose the person you love the most, trying to be cool.
During rough times or a fight with your partner, when it’s hard, actually very hard to keep it together or understanding each other spaces, people shouldn’t forget the mutual respect and each other’s space. People often resort to calling names, digging up the past in a disrespectful manner, which is completely unfair and hurtful.
Agree to Disagree.
According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, agree to disagree is a phrase that refers to, “agreeing not to argue anymore about a different opinion”. You must learn the fact that you can’t change the opinion of any person and you shouldn’t feel obligated to do so. In relationships, you need to agree that there can be a different point of view and opinions does matter, just leave the matter and accept the fact that there is a different point of views. Being open-minded and accepting other opinions doesn’t mean that you are losing, it just implies that you love and value the person more than your opinion.
Forgive one another.
Forgiving your partner doesn’t mean that you approve or completely accept what has been to you, it means that you are accepting the fact that there can be mistakes, and you are big and strong enough to forgive you. Even the best person makes mistakes, we should accept the fact and move on with our life and relationship. Forgiveness plays a very crucial role in long-lasting relationships.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. -Mahatma Gandhi
Relationships aren’t easy at all. We all are human beings and we all make mistakes. Sometimes a little effort from our part goes a long way in saving the relationship. Remember: Relationships are worth saving. If you need a little encouragement, just remember about the time, when you started this relationship and the effort that both of you used to make.
Feel free to share the article with your dear and near ones. Let me know in the comment section if you have any further questions/dilemmas/disagreement.
Braithwaite, S. R., Selby, E. A., & Fincham, F. D. (2011). Forgiveness and relationship satisfaction: Mediating mechanisms. Journal of Family Psychology, 25(4), 551–559.
Fincham, F. D., Hall, J., & Beach, S. R. (2006). Forgiveness in marriage: Current status and future directions. Family Relations, 55(4), 415–427.
Fincham, F. D., May, R. W., & Sanchez-Gonzalez, M. A. (2015). Forgiveness and cardiovascular functioning in married couples. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 4(1), 39.
Gordon, K. C., Hughes, F. M., Tomcik, N. D., Dixon, L. J., & Litzinger, S. C. (2009). Widening spheres of impact: The role of forgiveness in marital and family functioning. Journal of Family Psychology, 23(1), 1–13.