I am not an expert in Long distance relationship counselling or a psychologist, but I have been in a long distance relationship for a very long time and I understand mostly the pain, hardships when you don’t get to talk to your partner for a month or even more. Friendships and Relationships become dependent on Phone calls and the power of love seems to be taking a toll.
So, Here are a few things which I tried and it worked well for my Long distance relationship, I suggest you can try in order to reduce the distance at least psychologically so that, when you guys meet again, it’s a romantic get together instead of an awkward interaction.
Communicate a bit lesser.
Communication is the key, but at times in long distance relationships it works in reverse. Most of your friends might suggest you to talk as much as you can, when you are in a Long distance relationship, but trust me it will only get you a label as sticky/possessive and what not. Don’t get me wrong, I am talking about communicating less, not to stop communicating. It’s about the right moment and right spots, not every moment, every spot. Reason being, you are not completely aware of what the person’s day looks like. Example: If she is pissed off at her professor/manager and you write a cheesy line. Imagine, what if you are in that position.
Now, it doesn’t mean that you can hide things from your partner. Be honest, you may have to think of the right time to talk about things, but make sure you do. Cause eventually she will find out someday. Let it come from you, not from a different resource.
Talk dirty to your partner.
Sex is not only a physical need, but an emotional need as well. It doesn’t harm to tease each other with something the other one craves for. Dont limit yourself with only just sexting, send each other erotic letters, send sexy gifts to each other, talk about the last time, when you both had great time together. If you have a story narrating talent, it’s time to hit the stage bud.
Be there for her, when you can’t be there literally.
When your partner is telling you his/her problem, they don’t want you to resolve their problem, All they need is someone to comfort them emotionally. At the core of every problem that she discusses with you, her only core question: Will you be there for me? If you commited time to talking to each other, make it a priority like a doctor’s appointment. If you do this, you’ll indirectly make it clear to them that you are with them till the end whenever she needs you, no matter how far physically you are. Mental presence is precious.
Remember to schedule regular Skype dates.
Be it daily/weekly/monthly, make sure you have a committed time for your dates. The same way you would do, if you guys were together physically. Long distance should not be any reason to stop for doing anything romantic for your girlfriend. Go ahead, have a meal together or watch a movie together [there are a lot of options available to watch a movie together even when you are physically not together]. While you are making plans, be sure of her schedule. Once again, No one loves spamming.
Respect the reason for being in a long term relationship in the first part.
When you guys are talking you need to respect the reason for which you guys are long distance. Don’t let your partner break down or don’t say anything which might dampen the spirit and make her feel guilty of her decision.
Go on a trip together, or make surprise plans.
It feels very special to be surprised, it’s even the same for the long distance couples. Try to plan a trip together and if possible give your partner a surprise visit. Thinking about it, won’t help at all. Plan some activities and surprise her, trust me the smile on her face after she sees you will be worth it.
Talk about the future together.
Make some plans together for the future. It will instill the confidence in your partner that you think about her and you have reserved a place for her in your future. Going forward, it will play a very important role in your relationship.
Send gifts to each other.
This is very old school, but quite effective. Facetime, skype, Netflix binge watching is fine, but in the long run, you won’t remember these things. texts, instagram clicks won’t matter on the long run, but a bouquet of flowers, a hoodie, a cozy night wear which you gifted on her birthday and anniversary will be there for a very long time in her memory. It does not always have to be expensive, meaningful gifts works more. Maybe a handmade or customized card or cushion!
Physical touch is important and so is emotional one.
There’s no denying that physical intimacy is the highest one, but emotional one is equally important. Taking care of each other after a fight, Going to a restaurant (her favorite one) and speaking to her on the video call will really make a good impression on her.
Setting boundaries and personal space.
It’s awesome that you love your partner more than anything in this world, please remember there is a personal space for everyone. Don’t push the limits there or you may end up in somewhere low priority. Make sure you set proper ground rules and it never hurts to know each other’s schedules. If you guys are in different timezones, you need to be extra careful about that.
Celebrate important milestones.
It’s very important that you celebrate important milestones, for example: an anniversary, buying a home together or any such things which hold an important place in your relationship. you people will be a better judge for that. Long distance relationship doesn’t mean you will do all this when you are together, but also, when you are far. The distance shouldnt matter in a relationship.
Assumptions are real villains.
There’s nothing to elaborate here. DO NOT MAKE ANY ASSUMPTIONS. If you think you are creative enough, please join our team. Please don’t apply the imaginary steaks in your Long distance relationship where the situation is already delicate.
No one’s relationship is perfect, don’t sweat over a little mistake.
Every couple has their own challenge, their own issues, problems and insecurities. Every human being makes mistakes and little things happen in long distance, be a bigger person here, and move on. Don’t let the past hunt down your future. Make sure that the mistakes don’t repeat, and keep your partners pampered.
Long distance relationship is very different from a normal relationship and it requires special attention to work. It takes a lot to be in a relationship, especially when you are not physically together. People that are part of Defense, Military couple, they don’t have an option. They are used to it, and people are happy with it. But we normal people sweat so much on that, Just because we have a choice and preferences. It needs a lot of patience and some sacrifices in personal life to make things work. You should ask the question to yourself, Does it worth it? If you need any inspiration, just remember the time, when you started dating. Still need inspiration then read Why do I love her?
Wishing you and your dear and near ones, A very happy and prosperous new year from the whole team of The Mood Recipes.