I am writing this down because I do not want to express this over the call, and since, we are not meeting anytime soon, hence, this is the best way.
I have not told about you to any of my friends, except my 2 best friends. I have told them about your existence in my life. I have shared your pictures with them. Their first reaction, after looking at you was “Did he look at you properly?” I smiled and replied “Yes”. I felt good while replying to that.
Both of them have told me, not to get emotionally involved with you. They told me to play along with you as you want. Because that can get me things, which I could not earn in my life may be. I think they have only heard the part that you are rich and nothing else of what I have told them. They told me to play along with my mind, not my heart because I am emotional and I mess things up every time. I hope by now you have understood that I am emotional.
Initially, I thought to listen to them, listen to their advice, maybe that will save me from a broken heart, or broken trust again. But I could not. Initially, when you were talking to me, you were just another guy, who wanted to pass some time by talking to someone. But now things have changed. I will still say that I still have to know you more but my heart says what I know is enough for me.
Do you remember the last time when you could not contact me for a few days because you have lost your phone? I was angry at you then. I was feeling betrayed. I thought you are also like others who have just been there and vanished without a trace. I thought you will not come back and if I will ever find you then I will yell at you. Which I knew I could never do, but still, I had that thought. When you came back, I have shown my anger to you a little then.
But yesterday, when your phone number was unreachable and I could not talk to you, then I was scared. Not angry, neither feeling betrayed. I was scared to lose you, but I knew that you will come back. I spent my day crying and praying to keep you safe and to return you back to me. It was then when I realized how deeply you have rooted in my heart. This root will not be broken again. This is forever. I knew it. Once you called me back today, seeing your face on my phone have made my day. I know that I have cried like an idiot on the call and I have not replied to your question. I am telling you now, I was crying because I was scared to lose you. I was crying because I was happy to see you again. I was crying because I knew that I love you.
That one day between us, made me realized how much I need you in my life. I have been scared to be loved, to fall in love. I have never let anyone in my life in these 5 years. I have not even dated a single person. Maybe I was waiting for the correct person. And now when I have found you, I feel happy. I have never trusted my luck. I made myself believe that I am not meant for love and I will never find a person who will love me. But you seem like a gift from life to me.
When we started dating, I was not sure how is this going to end up. But your eyes, those eyes are the reason I said yes to you. I feel good and lucky when those pair of eyes stare at me, look at me with the smile and love. I blush. I feel lucky. You are just like a dream, which came true for me.
I am glad today, that I have not listened to my friends, and have been the girl, who I am. I am glad that I have seen the things again with my heart and not with my mind. I wanted to tell you this because I wanted you to know that I am madly and deeply in love with you. Till now, whatever, I have told you or whatever you know about me is true word by word. I have not hidden anything. I am glad that you have accepted me the way I am.
I know that you hide a few things from me, and I am ok with it. Maybe you are too waiting for the right time. Just wanted to tell you, please don’t break my heart. You have already told me that you love me, but I wanted to tell you this again. It took me 5 years to trust someone back again, to let someone in my life again. Please don’t break me, or else, I will be shattered for life.
I want you always, in my life, forever. I want to share every up and down, every happy and sad moment with you. I want to walk the road holding your hand. I want to wake up to see your sleepy eyes, neatly shut beside me, and want to go back to bed looking into those dreamy eyes. I want this life with you and for you. I am keeping my heart for you in this letter.
Your package of happiness,
(The way you put it)