Hey my netizens,
“Failure is the Pillar of success” – most clichéd sentence I am hearing since my childhood after I have failed. I have heard this countless times and also used whenever I wanted to console others after they failed, without any hesitation. It comes first in my mind to cheer up someone else, unless I found myself, is in the same failed and depressed situation.
When one fine day I see my relationship is falling apart, I am not getting something I long wanted, I didn’t get desired promotion or my projects/ assignments are badly reviewed and rejected, getting low paychecks than my non deserving colleagues, could not afford to buy the product my family desired , had to be in a budget or seeing someone of my age in a better shape… All these things keep on knocking me, pressurise me.
That time my brain is not able to process this simple thought of “failure is the Pillar blah blah.. and I would be successful in my next attempt”. That time all my mind can process is, “I have failed. I am lost. I cannot go on like that. I have let my parents down, am not capable to bring any hope….”. Some of you might relate with this chain of thoughts, relate to this anxiety and stress. Yes, I have been to this painful moments and had faced health issues too.
To come out from those dark times there are few things I tried to understand and tell myself and train my mind with, so that I can start again after I failed.
When I compare myself with others, I feel restless only. Suppose someone’s insta stories, fb updates flooded with vacation picture with their partners, increases my pressure only. I feel damn, why am I not going out, am the only one left out. I tend to forget my duties and boundaries. I forgot that my plan is totally different from them and our priorities also differ.
So, my first rule is tell myself stop comparing your life with others. We are individual and have different duties, expectations, strength, weakness and priorities in life. Ask yourself simply what your goals are and plan to work on it, without comparing it with surrounded peer circle.
Personalize and gathered thoughts:
Don’t just jump into something just because you see someone else has been happy/ successful in that, sometimes these things are mere illusions only.
I tell myself that “you need to crave your own path”. Think clearly what you wanted specifically and what will be the most convenient time and practical way to get it done.
Know your limitations. You know your capabilities and keep your expectations accordingly. Don’t let parental or peer pressure sink into you. Plan your strategies with a defined goal.
Small goals and a treat thereafter:
This is my favorite part. I plan a smaller goal with a specific activity.
So, if I need to go to office early or attend extra days, I would tell myself I won’t snooze my alarm next three days, before going to bed. And if I don’t snooze and able to wake up early next three days, I will get a two hours bonus sleep in weekends. Or, if I can 10 minutes of stretching in weekdays and can continue for 4 days, am getting a cheesecake next Sunday.
So apparently while I add a small step towards my goal, I appreciate myself with a bonus latter. after all there is a child inside who still needs to be pampered.
It’s better if you can talk to someone. Sometimes it is essential that you let your feelings come out and express yourself to someone. Talking your heart out opens up your view when you are in dilemma or simply confused. It can be a friend, someone from family, lover, someone you trust, close to you.
In case you don’t have that person around you, just gather your thoughts and start writing it somewhere. Or just type it yourself and don’t send, saving as a draft and read it on your own without the fear of getting judged. End of the day who else can take care of you, better than yourself?
Less emotions and not serious:
I am emotional and easily get emotionally attached to things and feel hurt afterwards.
So, the last tip I follow is to take a chill pill at times. Sometimes you need to stop being serious. I check on comedy, sarcasm and stop thinking about any serious thoughts, talk shows, avoided serious discussions. Sometimes you need to laugh at the jokes made on you and not get offended. That’s life and it goes one.
Life doesn’t stop. You see the graph of your heartbeat? With ups and downs? That’s life. Your life graph will continue with ups and downs. But what’s more important is you haven’t stopped and going ahead in your life.
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