When things start falling apart, there’s a certain point in our life where we start to think that we are not good enough. We start to get lot of negative thoughts about us, about what we have achieved so far. We start to feel helpless and completely miserable.
Here are the 10 things, which you consider doing to improve the situation and feeling good about yourself…
Stop the comparison game.
“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle, or your middle to someone else’s end. Don’t compare the start of your second quarter of life to someone else’s third quarter.”
― Tim Hiller, Strive: Life is Short, Pursue What Matters
We have heard people advising not to compare ourselves with each other and yet we do it. I completely understand that
We should stop this stupid comparison game as soon as possible. This won’t do any good to us. Instead of comparison, we should motivate each other, so that everyone wins, without losing mind.
Remind yourself what you have achieved.
If you are thinking that you are not good enough, think what you have completed and achieved till now. Remember the college degrees, job that you have got, happiness that you gave to your family and loved ones, it is no less than an achievement. Whenever you are in such low position in your life, just imagine where you started and how far you got, it will give you the correct evaluation of your worth and hard work that you did.
Stop over thinking or over analyzing things.
We all play every situation in our mind multiple times, to make sure that things should turn our way, or how can we make better. We tend to analyze everything multiple times, whereas in real life we do fail some of the times, which leaves a very deep scar psychologically, most importantly in this process we forget to live our life. It is very important that we should stop overthinking or analyzing us.
Negativity needs to put out of that little heart.
Sometimes keeping quiet doesn’t help us, it adds up pressure and makes up like a pressure cooker. We need to speak to someone and let it vent out everything that we have it inside us. I know the traditional rule book prohibits us not to put out anger and venom outside, but I don’t think that does any help to our ownself. We should let it out sometimes.
Choose a friend very carefully to share your flaws.
You should be very careful in sharing things, especially your problems. The most probable chances are that people are going to make fun of you, or their ego will be boosted seeing that you got the problem in the first place. But once you get them. Whenever we are weak or about to fail, we look for a person to lean on. Make sure you are sharing those with a person, whom you really trust not just in the weak moments.
Try finding what are you good at.
People will say and would love, if you believe that you are not good enough. It will be a good show for them to watch. Take out sometime for yourself and try to figure, what exactly you like doing, maybe you are good at that. More than me, you will be a better person to judge what you are good at. You can’t give up on that. Go ahead and work on the things that you like to do with full energy. You will get yourself back on the track.
Focus on the Process Than on the Results
When we start something or in the middle of something, there are lot of new things that we learn, not only which is important for that time, may be for longer time. Our target shouldn’t be only the result but also the lessons that we learnt along with the process of getting it. Even we fail, we will learn something, which will be helpful in the long run. I understand that it is very hard pursuing it, as we are living in a result-oriented world.
Stop living for anyone else’s expectations.
We are social animals and we often do things to please our dear and near ones. There’s a limit for everything. We get so much into impressing others, we often forget that we have our own plans, ambitions, or whatever we call it. This should not be the case. We should be living our life on someone else’s terms even if it makes them happy or the only reason, they want to be with us. It should not be conditional.
Stop comparing with Social media Influenza’s…. sorry Influencers.
This is slowly becoming a disease in this social media world. I don’t have any problem in uploading a picture online, but putting it to build a false figure online, is completely useless. For example, showing cleavage, legs and unnecessary dirt to build an image, which is completely different from the real world. I have no problem with these kinds of pictures, honestly, I love looking at them, but this creates an unnecessary tension and inferiority complex, which later adds up to something on a psychological. I have a special hate for this species. For example:
On top of that we have tech giants are tracking our search engines for commercial purpose, there are high chance, that you might have across t-shirts with “I am not good enough quotes” which they are trying very hard to sell, it will add up to your loneliness, as you get more vulnerable.
Start appreciating life instead of criticizing it.
There are so many things that are happening in our life. Some are good and some are bad. We should start appreciating the good things that happen to us. We should be happy that we have a place to live, meals to eat, a well-paying job and loving family members. The amount of thoughts we put up to cope up with negative things, if we give only 10-20% of that to the good things, we will be lot happier.
Let’s see, what others think of this situation:
Firstly, I would like to know the story of his/her struggle through career, relationship, family and would get to realize what is bothering them from the inside skull! I would tell them how they are different and best in their own ways. I wouldn’t only tell them these, I would come up with the things they’ve done so that along with me, they will understand that they matter for their own existence. I would ask them, if they remember anyone has laughed just because of their presence? If say yes, I would point out that there they matter! None can be ‘Good for nothing/not good enough’.
One thing I would advise them to leave forever is the group of people who have ever given a hint or have tried to drag them down. Staying with an optimistic with a non-judgmental helps a lot to build another’s character. It’s a vibe. Contagious. It spreads amongst all like the velocity of light.
What they need to do is to choose people correctly to hang out, to mix up, to be a friend and need to build a belief system that cannot be kneaded by the useless creatures in human form.
I think this feeling comes from over expectations. There must be some issues lies within, which creates the fear of competency in a relationship.
In this case, I think you need to make the other person feeling loved. You need to make him/her feel that you are the most favorite person around and gain the confidence back into relationship. Some people are not very expressive with their thoughts, overcoming fear. But I feel everyone can understand the language of love. You need to take a step and make that person believe that he/she is the one, make them feel good about the relationship. The small differences, opposite thoughts are only to complete the relationship.
As I said you are important, very important. If you don’t trust me, ask the most important person in your life: your parents, they will explain how important you are.
So, let me reiterate it once again, you are not only good enough, you are one of the best.